Praznina
Praznina (2/20/2003)
Jednom u kasno vece kada mi dodjes
u moju praznu sobu punu dima
nemoj da se cudis toj praznini
jer i moja dusa je prazna
ne nemoj da me pitas o proslosti
jer ta vremena nisu vazna
ne pitaj me za stare ljubavne price
vjeruj mi to me se vise ne tice
nisam izgubio nadu u zivot
ne to nikad nebih mogo
ali zelim da zaboravim proslost
i da ovu noc podijelim s tobom
pusti neka kisa polako pada
prekrasan je taj njen trapusavi zvuk
pricaj mi nesto iz svog zivota
jer nevolim ovaj prazni muk
ne reci mi da je i tvoja proslost
kao i moja bila
nije li mozda neko i tebi slomio krila
pricaj mi zasto pricaj mi kako
mozda ces nekad i moju pricu
ti da saznas.. mozda ces ti da se smilujes
mozda ces ti meni da prastas
pricaj mi jer opet osjecam tisinu
u ovoj mojoj praznoj sobi
pricaj mi o sebi
ti me oslobodi
long long time ago when i used to write
I AM
I am not who you think I am.
I am beyond anything you can understand.
I am what you see
When you see the wind.
I am what you hear
When there is silence.
I am what you taste
When you have no tongue.
I am a sin in Heaven
A saint in Hell
I am the dark cloud that rains down on you
I am the ocean
You break beneath my waves.
I am milk. I am hate. I am life.
to YOU
this is my last ode to you,
my last words to the one i loved
my side of an untold story,
these are the words that didn’t come out
these are the feelings i didn’t show,
although i should have
You might not ever get to see these feelings
you might not ever read these words
dedicated in your name, written by my heart.
you will never get to hear this side of the story
you will never read my sorrow,
for you have moved on.
you will never see these tears, shed just for you
you will never know my fears of losing you.
my heart has become numb
there is no feeling left in there
all the punches it took over the years
all of the aches that it went through,
have finally dealt its final blow
my memory is fading fast
I am losing bits and pieces
although i do recall meeting you
one lonely girl misplaced amongst the world
not her own
standing there in all her glory not giving a damn
and i don’t know how we got to talking
and how i got you to give me a kiss
i do know i liked you,
i did know id love you right there on that spot.
Do you remember the day i said i love you?
I do, you cried and almost lost your breath
it was a somewhat of a sunny day, i remember
how could i forget.
those tears, they we so real,
even though they were tears they sounded happy
doesn’t make much sense i know.
and remember you said you loved me too
and you had for so long now.
Inside i felt just like you did,
inside i had same reaction as you did,
but remember,
men are not supposed to cry.
just the other day, im not even sure why
i found myself wondering through that bookstore
we used to go to so often
our little spot was empty, it looked lonely
it seemed like all the books were calling out
for me to sit next to them and keep them company.
and than, there we were just like in old times
sitting there laughing,
with your head on my shoulder
you looked so beautiful
with a smile that could make the world shine
there we were,
just the two of us, like there is no tomorrow.
in a blink of an eye i realized the cruel trick
my mind was playing on me.
emptiness was all i saw, emptiness thats all.
and a little further down
i saw a child reading the favorite book of yours
corduroy, that sad bear image deeply embedded into my mind.
remember how happy you were
when we found it on the shelf amongst many others
you read it to me almost in one breath
you were so happy, and so was i.
while listening to your voice a thousand thoughts
raced through my head
at that moment nothing else mattered
in my mind i could see us long into the future
standing there hand in hand
not a care in the world, just the two of us
two people deeply in love
the rest of the world didn’t matter.
at that moment you were the one, the only one.
my soul mate my heart my happiness
my life.
memories like rivers, those timeless giants
keep flowing without the end in sight
they only get deeper as time goes by.
this city holds too many memories
everything seems to have a story
all the buildings seem to pull out a memory out of me
just over there we used go for coffee every day
and that place across the street
we had the worse dinner there, remember that?
to add an insult to injury a dust ball fell right on the plate
everything here seems to have a part of us in it
everything seems to have us as shadows
only we are not there anymore.
